Honesty and Mistakes

I love science and the scientific method because it is a simple concept; it is true with the current proof until something disproves it. And, I have always treated the factual start of things as is when commentating with people which makes me "direct" and a straight talker.

When I realized that most people didn't like how I communicated, I began to make every sentence I state also be a sarcastic point. Because my general rule of thumb was, if they are happy (smiling/laughing) they aren't not liking what I had to say. But. This now backfired making me "direct", straight and an unserious speaker.

When you are used to people laughing at your jokes, you like it. But, the same jokes doesn't always work and you have to one up your unhingeness to carry more shock-value. Because, what is a joke if not an unexpected twist. I was using the same tactics to get peoples attention that the current social media algorithms prefer.

When the love of something can make a bond, hate for the same thing creates bond faster. Well, I think something becomes unhealthy when you overdo things, over consume things, and not because it inherently is unhealthy. So if something is easy to do and it gives pleasure/satisfaction faster there is a more change of that thing being overdone or over consumed. So, somewhere along these years I somehow turned to hatebonding as opposed to bonding through enthusiasm and a love of something.

These are some of my mistakes in life, going through bachelors. But, are all mistakes worthy of sharing? Do I have to be truthful at all costs. Should I accept my mistakes in front of everyone or is it sufficient that I am honest about my mistakes to myself. I guess that's another weakness of mine that I cannot lie and even if I try, I will cave and give the truth after some time. Which has absolutely worsened some of my relations.

To know about things is such a burden. It was very easy to make jokes and comments and just talk when I didn't know about political correctness and all the things a person can be. Now that I have a basic knowledge about thing every word has to be filtered, and well thought through.

[_Thing I want to say. > Is it racist? > Is it sexist? > Is it misogynistic? > Is it conservative? > and on and on and on... _] I don't want to be any of those things. I am not any of those things, but I also don't want to be framed as any of those things due to my poor choice of words. But, that's too much of processing to do for a normal friendly conversation and I hate it. hatebonding?

Am I being a people pleaser? People will say whay they want to say? And should I just filter the positives?

I realize why people are introverted.

I'll be back!